RELEASE

As Jackie looked at the empty nest she cried out with a guttural sound that any mom could understand..she had lost her two baby eggs that she had just laid less than a week ago. She and Shadow ( the infamous bald eagles from Big Bear, Ca. that millions follow, including myself) had finished preparing the nest for the arrival of their two eggs. Millions celebrated with them, when, suddenly, Jackie got up from the nest and found that the eggs had cracked. For humans this would be a miscarriage. She left the nest and the ravens came in to dispose of the remains. When I saw this picture I just cried. Twenty six years ago Kev and I were told that we would not be able to have our own child. We had bought a new home with a bedroom for a baby, only for me to walk by it every morning to see it empty. I would try and stifle my cries of anguish in the corner of my kitchen, hoping that Kev would not hear me…he always did because he was grieving too. This weekend our pastor Ashley from C.C.V. asked the question “ what are you white knuckling to hold onto?” What are you holding onto so tight because if you let you go you feel as though you may not make it? Is it a broken marriage? A recent loss of a loved one? A diagnosis that has an early end date? A relationship you don’t want to lose? A job that makes a lot of money but means you are never home? Infertility? Or even an unforgiving heart to someone who has hurt you so bad? Ashley shared the story of Abraham and Isaac where Abraham was asked the unthinkable. He was to go to a special mountain, bring firewood, and make a sacrifice to God. The sacrifice would be his own son, his only son, the son he loved..the promised son who, through his lineage, the Messiah would come. And Abraham said yes and started on the journey. When it came time to kill Isaac an angel stopped him…you see, God never intended to sacrifice Isaac but rather to confirm that Abraham’s heart was totally and completely devoted to Him because his faith journey was going to require it. After crying for what seemed like forever, Kev and I released our desire for our own child and gave it back to God. We trusted that He knew what was best for our future. How? Like Abraham, God Himself gave up His Son, His only Son, the Son He loved, for Us….only His son was killed..on the same mountain that Abraham went to sacrifice Isaac. You cannot give someone your grieving spirit, your broken heart, your loss, if you do not trust them. God has proven HE is faithful and will take your tears and renew your song of JOY. Shortly after Kev and I had released our hold on the hopes of having a baby, through different miracles, we were able to adopt our son Jake. No longer did I walk by an empty room but rather saw a bright yellow painted room with a crib and a beautiful baby cooing. With God, adoption wasn’t Gods replacement plan, it was his first and only plan. With Jesus it wasn’t His second plan, it was always His first and only plan…the ultimate show of love to us. If today you are holding onto something or someone so tight that God is no longer first in your life, I encourage you to release it..maybe slowly…but release it. He can be trusted to bring you the JOY that can only come from the one who loves you the most. As for Jackie and Shadow…stay tuned…I believe they too will once again find their song of JOY.